Double Meaning Sms Jokes & Messages


भारत मे अगर ट्रेन के नाम हिरोइनों के नाम पर होते

भारत मे अगर ट्रेन के नाम ‘हिरोइनों’ के नाम पर होते तो खबर कुछ ऐसी होती

-त्यौहार के भीड़ के कारण आज बीपाशा ओवरलोड हो कर गई.
-सोनाक्षी के नीचे आने से दस आदमी कि मौत.
-एक्सीडेंट मे मल्लिका कि पिछली बोगी तबाह.
-तेज रफ़्तार कि वजह से कंगना पटरी से उतर गई.
-रानी पर चढ़ने वालों कि तादाद मे इजाफा.
-कैटरीना पर बिना टिकट चढ़ते हुए 7 लोग गिरफ्तार.
-राखी का इंजन फेल.




एक नवविवाहित जोड़ा ट्रेन में सफर कर रहा था

एक नवविवाहित जोड़ा ट्रेन में सफर कर रहा था.
पत्नी बोली: जानू, मेरे सिर में दर्द हो रहा है
पति उठा और उसने पत्नी के माथे को चूम लिया.
थोड़ी देर बाद पत्नी फिर बोली – मेरी आँखों में
जलन हो रही है

पति ने प्यार से उसकी आँखों को भी चूम लिया.
फिर थोड़ी देर बाद..
पत्नी: मेरे हाथों में ऐंठन हो रही है
पति ने उसके हाथों को चूम लिया.

सामने वाली बर्थ पर एक बूढ़ा यात्री, जो काफी देरसे यह सब देखरहा था..
बोला: बेटा, बवासीर का भी इलाज़ करते हो क्या? :-P




Santa chemist ke pass gaya aur bola

Santa chemist ke pass gaya aur bola: bhai kuch help chahiye
chemist: haan bolo?
aur santa ne Apni davai ki bottle me se ek chamach
chemist ko pila ke pucha:
meetha hai kya?
Chemist: nahi to, kyu kya hai ye.
Santa: bas yahi puchna tha, doctor ne kaha tha ki chemist ke paas jakar
URINE Test karwa kar pata karo ki URINE me sugar hai ke nahi. :D




Men will always be Men

Men will always be Men-
Once a group of men decided to go for Tirth Yatra.
Their guide explained to them that they might see some ladies bathing in open and they should not get distracted at all.
When they see anything like that, they should just say HARI OM and move on.
Next day they started the yatra and one of the men in the group said:
‘HARI OM’ and rest of them said- KIDHAR HAI, KIDHAR HAI!




Angrez Pakistan ayaa Taxi li

Angrez Pakistan ayaa Taxi li…

Rastay mein driver ne uska sub kuch loot liya..
Uske kapde bhi utaar ke usse veeranay mein phenk diya….

Ek Pathan udhar se guzra to Angrez ne usko awaaz di…

Pathan: Oho.. yeh ki hoa laale di jaan?

Angrez ne saari baat rotey rotey batai..

Pathan apna naada kholte huye bola: Yaara.. tera aaj din hi kharab hai..!!!




Husband: Tumhare Shaadi se pehlekitne boyfriend the?

Husband: Tumhare Shaadi se pehlekitne boyfriend the??

Wife silent..

Husband chilla ke: Me iss khamoshi ko kya samjhu?

Wife: Haaye Rabba..
Gin to rahi hu, Chilla kyun rahe ho..




A man received a message from his neighbor

A man received a message from his neighbor:
Sorry sir, I am using your wife… day and night.. when you are not present at home… In fact, much more than you do.
I confess this now because I am feeling very guilty. Hope you will accept my sincere apologies.

The man shot his wife..
A few minutes later he received another message:
Sorry sir, a spelling mistake.. I meant wifi.




Received a call from a recruitment consultant

Received a call from a recruitment consultant.
She said to me: Sir I have two openings for you..!
I replied : Yes. I know
There was a long silence and then she said….. MC. 3:)




0Ek train me Katrina without ticket travel kar rahi thi

Ek train me Katrina without ticket travel kar rahi thi..
Usne saree pehni thi.. T.C. Ne usse 100 rs fine liye..
Aishwarya ne jeans pehni thi, usse 75 rs fine liye..
Karina ne skirt pehni thi, usse 50 rs fine liye..
Par Sunny Leone se kuchh nai liya..
Why.. ??
Q ki…

Uske pas ticket tha…… Kaminoo
Soch badlo desh badlega…




A beautiful, sexy, good looking lady

A beautiful, sexy, good looking lady was sitting next to a guy in a plane…

The lady said to him ‘
Can you help me remove something from my breast please?

The exciting young man replied, Wow!
It will be my pleasure..

So what is it?

‘Your Eyes’