Jokes, SMS JOKES

Santa: Miss kya Aap mujhey raat ko call.. kar rahi thi
Miss: No
Santa: Kamaal Hai
Subha Jub main utha tou merey mobile pr likha tha
Miss call

HARYANA ROCKS:
ek baar ek tai ne bus rukwali..
Conductor: tai kit jagi??
Tai: beta jana juna to kitte koni.. yo hamara chhora rowe hai.
Ek bar po-po bajwa de!.

Sakshi to Dhoni (on phone):
Jaanu series chodo, tumhari yaad aa rahi hai..
DHONI: Maine isliye retired hone ka announcement kar diya darling.
SAKSHI: Kam se kam phone par to baat karo..
DHONI: Do minute hold karo, laxman out ho gya hai, main jaakar aata hun!!

My mom asked me why dont u study d whole year & study Only during exams?

I replied…. Bcoz
Lehro ka sukoon Sabhi ko pasand hai lekin,
tufano me Kashti nikalne ka maza hi kuch aur hai

Mom reply: Wah kya dilague mara hai??

Boy & Girl Chatting:
Girl: What are you Doing?
Boy: I’m Talking With My Angel Now!!
Girl: Awww… Do u Know That you are So Sweet?
Boy: Yes, ohhh But My Angel Has just Signed Off So I’m Talking With U Now!!
Girl: Teri maa ki..!!

Teacher: Ye koun sa TENSE hai?
India mein Corruption khatam ho Jayega..!!

Student: Future IMPOSSIBLE Tense..!!

Papa ne ek robot laya, jo jhuth bolne pe tappad marta tha.

Beta ghar aya..
Baap: kaha gaya tha
Beta: dost k ghar
Baap kya kr rha tha movie dekh rha tha
Baap: konsi?
Beta: english
Robot slaps the boy
Baap: batao konsi wali?
Beta: ok!! Porn!!
Baap: main jab tumhari umar ka tha tab mujhe porn ka matlab bhi nai pata tha
Robot slaps the man!!

Mom: akhir apka hi to beta hai!! haha
Robot slaps the woman.

Commerce professor asks, the students:
What is the most important law of finance for starting business..?

Freaky Replied:
Father-in-Law..!!

Larki ka Baap Larki se..
Jisse tum pasand karti ho
Uske Paas Bangla, Gaari, Jaayedad to hai na?

Larki: Tauba Hay..
Saare Mard Ek Jaise Hote hain..
Wo bhi Aapke Bare mein Yehi Pooch raha tha!!

Solid Bezzati
Boy to Slim Girl:
Apni Body to Dekho Jese Haddiya hi Haddiya ho..
Girl: Isliye Itni Dair Se Soch Rahi Hu ke
Mere Paas Kutta Kyu khada hain.